How CABT Therapists Use Therapy Skills in Their Own Lives

Therapists spend their days teaching skills for managing anxiety, stress, and difficult emotions, but do they actually use those skills themselves? At the Center for Anxiety & Behavior Therapy, the answer is yes. We asked our clinicians to share how they personally practice the techniques they teach, from exposure therapy to radical acceptance, in their everyday lives. We hope to provide insight into techniques that can improve mental well-being and encourage you to explore these strategies yourself.

Catherine Schuler, PsyD: Tolerating discomfort and thought defusion

“Going to early morning yoga classes is a way that I practice accepting discomfort in order to live in line with what I value. Voluntarily getting up before sunrise is always difficult, and each time my mind says 'No! Just stay in bed.' I remind myself that my thoughts are just thoughts - I have a choice whether or not to listen to them - and that the sense of ease in my body and calm in my mind after yoga is worth the short-term discomfort of an early wakeup."

What is tolerating discomfort and thought defusion?

Tolerating discomfort involves accepting and enduring unpleasant feelings or situations without attempting to avoid or escape them. Thought defusion, a concept from Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT), involves distancing oneself from unhelpful thoughts and recognizing them as mere mental events rather than truths that dictate behavior. Practicing tolerating discomfort can build resilience and improve one's ability to face challenging situations without becoming overwhelmed. Thought defusion helps reduce the impact of negative or intrusive thoughts, allowing individuals to make choices based on values and long-term goals rather than immediate emotional reactions. For those new to these concepts, starting small can be helpful. Begin by identifying a minor discomfort to tolerate or practice thought defusion with a simple exercise, such as saying a distressing thought aloud repeatedly until it loses its meaning.

Caroline Haimm, PhD: Exposure therapy

“As an exposure therapist, I frequently ask my clients to try extremely difficult challenges, and I have been so struck by their bravery and grit. As a result, I began to practice small exposures to anxiety and discomfort myself. Most recently, this has been in the form of playing (somewhat) competitive tennis. I have always been fearful of failing and disappointing others. Playing on a club tennis team allows me to face both of these fears head on. Thus far, I have lost more matches than I have won, but as of yet, I have only experienced disconfirmation of my fears - no one on my team has made me feel bad about my playing, and I’ve survived the losses. And, as I continue to push myself, I enjoy many benefits - good exercise, an opportunity to socialize with a warm and interesting group of women, and the chance to build my resilience and confidence to try new things!"

What is exposure to disconfirm fears?

Exposure therapy is a psychological treatment that helps individuals confront their fears in a gradual and controlled manner. The specific technique of exposing oneself to situations that could disconfirm fears involves intentionally facing feared scenarios to test the validity of those fears and learn that the outcomes are often less catastrophic than anticipated. Exposure to feared situations can reduce anxiety and build resilience. By confronting fears, individuals learn that their worst-case scenarios are often unfounded, which can diminish the power of these fears. Starting with manageable exposures is crucial. For instance, someone afraid of social situations might begin by attending a small gathering before progressing to larger events. Keeping a journal of exposures and the outcomes can also help track progress and reinforce positive experiences.

Steven Tsao, PhD: Normalizing stress and accepting emotions

“Life is stressful. For all of us. Even for us psychologists. When I'm stressed, I try (and sometimes even succeed!) in opening myself up to that feeling, reminding myself that it's part of being alive, and connecting to the world of people that may also feel stressed at that very same moment."

What is normalizing discomfort and struggle, and self-validating your emotions?

Normalizing discomfort and struggle involves recognizing that experiencing stress and negative emotions is a common and universal part of the human experience. Self-validating and accepting emotions means acknowledging one's feelings without judgment and accepting them as they are, without trying to change or suppress them. Normalizing discomfort helps reduce feelings of isolation and self-criticism, while understanding that struggle is a shared human experience can foster a sense of connection and compassion. Self-validating and accepting emotions allows individuals to process their feelings healthily, leading to better emotional regulation and resilience. Practicing mindfulness can enhance emotional acceptance. Techniques such as mindfulness meditation encourage observing emotions without judgment, helping individuals develop a more accepting attitude towards their internal experiences.

Christina DiChiara, PsyD: Mindfulness in nature

“The best way for me to take care of my stress and manage my mood is to make sure I’m spending time in nature. During a long day in front of the computer, I always make sure to sit in my garden or walk in the woods for 10-15 minutes. I don’t take my phone, and make an effort to use the sights, sounds, and smells around me in nature to get me out of my head, soothe my stress, and shift my perspective by reminding me that there is big world out there!"

What is mindfulness in nature?

Mindfulness involves paying full attention to the present moment without judgment. It means being aware of where you are and what you're doing, and not being overly reactive or overwhelmed by what's going on around you. Mindfulness can help reduce stress, improve mood, and enhance overall well-being. It allows individuals to detach from their thoughts and feelings, observing them without becoming consumed. This practice can lead to greater emotional regulation and a deeper sense of peace and calm. Incorporating short mindfulness practices into daily routines, such as mindful walking or spending time in nature, can be very effective. For beginners, guided mindfulness exercises or apps can provide helpful structure and support.

Evan Vida, PsyD

"I use my morning coffee routine as an opportunity to practice mindfulness and gratitude. The process of creating a perfect shot of espresso and steaming milk for a latte is an opportunity to fully participate in an activity one-mindfully. Practicing this helps me not bring future or past pain into the present and focus solely on what is in front of me. I can then enjoy and appreciate my latte one-mindfully before getting started with my day."

What are one-mindfully and mindfulness skills?

One-mindfully means focusing on one task at a time with full attention, while "participate" refers to fully engaging in an activity without self-consciousness. These skills are part of Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT) and emphasize being present and immersed in the current activity. Practicing one-mindfulness and participation can enhance the enjoyment and satisfaction derived from everyday activities. It prevents the mind from wandering to past regrets or future worries, reducing anxiety and improving concentration. Simple routines, like a morning coffee ritual, can be ideal opportunities to practice these skills. By focusing on the sensory experiences and the process itself, individuals can transform routine tasks into moments of mindfulness and joy.

Anna Thompson, M.S.: Accepting uncertainty

"Life is full of uncertainty. As a grad student, I often face uncertainty such as grades, clinical experiences, and my future. I practice what I preach to my clients. I acknowledge that life is full of uncertainty and I accept variability in the things that I can not control; however, I choose to live based on my values for things that are within my control. Fun Fact: I started at CABT as a volunteer, originally looking for a practicum site during my Master's degree. I decided to add another commitment to my day, to live by my values, regardless of the uncertainty of what I would gain from the experience or the time constraints it may have on my day. Regardless of the day-to-day uncertainties, I made a decision based on my values, which paid off! I find that the act of accepting uncertainty takes a lot of practice, but I appreciate the outlook it allows me to have on life."

What is accepting uncertainty and living by values?

Accepting uncertainty involves recognizing that unpredictability is a natural part of life and choosing to focus on what can be controlled. Living by values means making decisions and taking actions that align with one's core beliefs and principles, regardless of the uncertainty surrounding the outcomes. This approach can reduce anxiety and enhance resilience by shifting focus from uncontrollable variables to meaningful actions. It encourages proactive living based on personal values, fostering a sense of purpose and direction. Practicing acceptance of uncertainty requires ongoing effort but can lead to a more adaptable and fulfilling life.

Shannon Murphy, PhD: Radical acceptance

"My dog is old and stubborn and generally does not love walking on a leash. This means that our daily walks quickly devolve into a tug of war, in which I'm frustratedly pulling her along as she resists my every move. On my better days, I use these walks as an opportunity to practice radical acceptance - I stop fighting with her, allow her to be exactly as she is, and let the walk take the time that it takes."

What is radical acceptance?

Radical acceptance is a skill from Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT) that involves fully accepting reality as it is, without resistance or judgment. It means acknowledging situations or emotions as they are, rather than how one wishes they would be. Practicing radical acceptance can reduce frustration and suffering by eliminating the struggle against reality. It allows individuals to conserve energy and focus on what can be changed or how to cope effectively with the present situation. This skill can lead to greater emotional stability and resilience by fostering a mindset of acceptance and peace.

Conclusion

The skills used by therapists can be beneficial for anyone looking to improve their mental well-being. By incorporating techniques like tolerating discomfort, thought defusion, exposure to disconfirm fears, normalizing discomfort, self-validating emotions, mindfulness, accepting uncertainty, and radical acceptance, individuals can better manage stress and align their actions with their values.

Interested in learning these skills with the support of a therapist? CABT's clinicians specialize in evidence-based treatment for anxiety, OCD, emetophobia, and PTSD. Schedule a free 15-minute intake call, we'd love to connect.